This man he was a shining light. So smart and funny and just, kind. We met in our graduate English classes last semester and hit it off immediate - he was dressed well, witty and clearly city; and to him, I was someone he knew from the radio already, and wanted to know better. We'd find each others' eyes during the awkward moments in class and exchange knowing looks, and that's how we bonded - two cynical, city-transplanted-to-Alaska snobs. We meshed, talked literature, then after the semester ended last May became real friends who hosted each other for dinner parties, went camping together. I reveled at being invited to his and Matthew's where they laid out hors devours before dinner and played jazz, then stayed up too late - all just like me! - drinking wine and laughing, telling story after story, eating the rest of the appetizer cheese plate at 2am.
In June when the ferns were growing up in the backyard and the weather became hospitable, John was here and after dinner we made a fire in the fire pit, Matt and I shook up pitchers of watermelon gimlets and we all roasted marshmallows. At one point in the evening there was John, with a fern in each hand like a coy fan dancer batting his eyelashes, performing an Annie Lennox song about being beautiful, mugging for no camera - just the present audience. I laughed so hard that I nearly peed -- a brilliant performance! I loved it and thank god I had found my people up here! We finished off that night with karaoke, dancing and red velvet cupcakes.
Just a few weeks ago we all went camping together. Jim drove and they sat in the back; I twisted around and we played the alphabet game and "Triad" - John's game where you name three seemingly disparate things and try to figure out what they have in common. Youth. Friendship. Death.
John died while Jim and I were in Mexico. It all seemed especially far away because of geography, because of vacation. Before we left and before he left, we talked about hosting a Halloween party together - dress like your favorite piece of art or artist. It was going to be a fabulous party, and it still could be - I'm planning on throwing it even so.
John, honey, I'm so mad that you left already and I'm so sad that it was so soon. You were one of the good ones and I'm glad I got to be your friend right off the bat, not wasting any time. This one is for you, dear man:
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