1. You know how people say about LA: "It's fun to visit but I
wouldn't want to live there."? Well, I understand now. Super fun to
visit - Bountiful shopping! Wide variety of restaurants! Great people watching! Driving 80 mph to get where I need to go! Sun sun sun! Spending an afternoon in the pool! Cheap mani/pedis! Celebrity sightings! But all those people that are fun to watch also make it crowded and annoying; all those celebrities to sight make for a strange fame culture, an awkward ethos; all those zippy freeway lanes clog up and soon you're bumper to bumper.
2. One day after working out
I visited this organic juice place and asked if I could get ginger in
my "C Blast" because I had a cold the entire time I was in LA (thanks,
airplane) and the nice young Latino hipster with rolled sleeves and black rimmed
nerd glasses (like mine) behind the bar said, "Well, no. But I'll tell
you why..." And he explained about needing to juice the gingerroot and
the C Blast was just orange juice with some honey in it and in the
background playing was this amazing song and I so I wasn't really
listening to him because I wanted our interaction to end so I could
Soundhound the song before it ended so I just ordered the next thing
down the menu plus ginger then swiped swiped swiped on my phone to
Soundhound and whew, captured it, bought it and downloaded the song right on
the spot! I've never done that before - I felt very high tech, like I
was in a Google or Apple commercial. The song? Shine a Light (Flight Facilities Remix) by The C90s.
3. I felt a little bit like a country mouse, but I wasn't too bothered by this. Strangely, I was just fine being pretty average on the fashion/hipness scale because I felt centered inside and so I just really didn't give a shit like I thought I would (Jim would be so proud). That doesn't mean I didn't feel a little self-conscious, because I did from time to time about my boring clothes or feeling a little fat, but it wasn't the end of the world. I felt like I knew other, different, good things that filled me up and so...
4. ...I realized that I am content in my life in Alaska.
I think I needed to be in a place where I was before to comprehend
that. Being back in the same places I lived within and around for years
before, when I was younger, felt like a million years ago. It was like
watching a movie I scarcely remembered seeing before except for certain
scenes that jogged my memory, making me think oh yeah this seems
familiar, I think I have seen this flick.
5. Dear friends with whom you can just pick up with, no matter what we each might be going through, are worth so much. Being known and hearing and understanding from them how they see you (which is how you hope you appear) is really assuring. They know all the backstory, the history, the family and friends to ask about, so you can just be your dorky intense irreverent reverent selves.
6. It was really hot. My blood has definitely thickened up, way up, up here.
7. Smog is absolutely disgusting. Some people freak out over germs, I was
freaking out a little bit about the air. Driving in from the airport,
knowing there are mountains back there, unseen, behind filthy air.
Hiking in those foothills later I felt like I was having an asthma
attack, wheezing and not able to continue, feeling like a goldarned
wimp. I can't believe that I used to smoke, too, in LA.
8. My current wardrobe is quite bad, consisting of mainly expensive active/outdoor gear and cheap casual wear. I packed a bunch of ugly that I never wore down there and ended up shopping for and wearing the same new jeans and t-shirt almost everyday. Also, why can't Alaska have outlet stores? And El Pollo Locos? And Trader Joes? And theaters where you pick your own seats and people don't talk or text during the film? Also, $15 pedicures?
9. I reveled in the Latino-ness everywhere I went! Hearing people speaking Spanish or not, just merely appearing to be on the brown side like mio - it was like a sigh of relief, returning to what makes sense to me living in the world. Twice someone spoke in Spanish to me, assuming that either I understood, or perhaps they didn't know English. Also, hearing my grandma speak Spanish speaks to my soul. I learned a new phrase from her -I think it goes Es mejor llegar a la iglesia para obtener el diablo. Her mother used to say. Which means "You better get to church to get the devil out" a very versatile phrase which can apply to crying babies, angsty teenagers or gassy adults.
10. There is nothing so complicated, yet comforting, as looking around
the room and realizing, that in some way, you are related to each and
every person surrounding you. My head was flooding with memories of
each and every aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent; my present self
considering how we were before, what had changed, what if I'd never left
5 years ago, did I look different, was I different?
Were they? Should I sit still or should I interact more - which one will allow me to soak it all up the most?
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