After 12 weeks of training I completed my first triathlon this past weekend in Juneau. It was a little bit of a disaster, a learning experience, scary, fun and ultimately, the fulfillment of a personal goal - however ungraceful or slow. I woke up Saturday morning at 5:30 feeling pretty good, with the adrenaline already pumping. BFF Sarah made me coffee and oatmeal, then Jim and I left for the race to check in. The rest until the race started is kind of a blur - right up until the point when the starting signal went off and 100 people started to swim in a freezing cold lake.
Here are my post-race thoughts:
1. When's the next one? I will definitely do another triathlon. All the books, websites and discussion boards I read while training said that you'll know immediately after the first one if you'll do another one. My thought after finishing with a dismal 2:14 time? "Well, that's a pretty low baseline. I can only improve from there." Then I started thinking about winning my age group in the same race next year. I can do it, too. Before then, though, it's the Gold Nugget triathlon in the spring - an all-women's event that looks like so much fun!
2. The horrible swim. Oh god, open water swimming. I just totally choked in the lake. Literally. Maybe 25 yards into it I felt like I couldn't breathe. I stopped and tread water and was just in a panic. I watched everyone pass me swimming normal freestyle - at a pace that I can easily do in the pool - and it exacerbated the feeling of desperation because I was falling so far behind already - all I could think was shitshitshit. A volunteer in the water helped me with some breathing exercises. She said you don't have to keep going and I started to cry, "I have to! I have all these people watching me and I can't just quit!" Like I said, a disaster. So, I kept going, doing backstroke, and got to the midway buoy and thought, "Okay, just get back now." I was still struggling to breathe and had to stop a few more times to calm down. Another very calming volunteer on a paddleboard said, "I could never do what you're doing, you're awesome!" And I thought are you kidding me, lady, this is the worst. But then I remembered - just finish, Sarah, just get to the end. So I finished - never once breathing normally with my face in the water. It was SO AWFUL, especially ironic that it was so bad being a former swimmer. I got out of the water and walked to transition and tried to put it behind me.
3. It's not just me. On the flight home I was reading my "First Triathlons" book, a collection of stories about triathletes' first competitions. I was surprised (or maybe not?) to read story after story about those on their first time out choking in the water exactly like I did. Apparently it's a pretty common thing, there's always one or two in each race. One guy (now a professional) even swam back to the start and then gathering himself, continued on. I'm glad there's hope for me.
4. From zero to...35ish. It's a little absurd to go from not really exercising to doing a 15.5 mile race three months later. But then again, having that looming on the calendar is a great motivation to exercise regularly. Plus, why not?
5. Le tour. There were three bikes left in transition when I arrived there after the disastrous swim - including mine. That means everyone else already left. I took some inhaler puffs, assured my mom I was going to be okay, and set off on the bike - soaking wet and trying to shut down those thoughts of doubt from the water. My bike computer didn't work which was too bad because I had no idea of my pace. I felt strong the whole way though. The best part of the bike was being able to see and hear my friends and family cheering for me - passing me waving and hollering in cars, clapping for me at the 6-mile turnaround, or stationed just a bit ahead waiting for me to come up a hill near the end which was so awesome!
6. Swallowing pride. The whole endeavor was a SERIOUS test to my vanity - no makeup, skintight spandex, near drowning, competing as a newbie, being almost last... One of the hardest parts, though, was arriving back into transition to rack my bike and start the 3-mile run only to see so many others already finished, milling around the area and not realizing that I was coming through, still in the game. That sucked. So again I had I turn off my pride and tell myself to just finish, Sarah, just get to the end. So I started to run...and then quickly switched to a brisk walk.
7. Walking and cheering. My pinkie toes were asleep after the bike and my legs were just shot. Interestingly enough I noted that it wasn't my quads - the cycling muscles - that hurt, it was my calves and shins that were just DONE a mile into the run. I walked as fast as I could, jogged the downhills, and cheered cheered cheered for all the people going the other way. They cheered for me, too. The only way I could take the focus off my shin splints and aching calves was to thank all the volunteers on the course and to cheer for others. I finally came up that last hill and they announced my name a couple times, I crossed the finish line and hugged all my family and friends, SO glad to be done.
8. I need to learn how to run. My legs ached so bad on the run because I haven't been training at my "lactate threshhold" - meaning, I need to keep running past when it starts to hurt. I've just never been a runner, ever ever, so this part is difficult. I do see it as a challenge, though, and I'll work on it until I can run three miles like it's a walk in the park. I've read about some running clinics and I think that will help me a lot, to learn a better technique.
9. Losing to win. I'm still fairly overweight and while I just forged ahead in a sport that favors the lithe if not tiny framed, I know that losing more pounds will make me swifter and will certainly make the run so much easier. So I'll keep at it, even though it feels frustrating to work out so much and not look like the fit person I feel like on the inside. I think I gained weight while training, just feeling so hungry after workouts that I ate too much. I just read an article in the NY Times today about how exercise doesn't really contribute at all to weight loss - it's really about restricting calorie intake. So I need to figure out how to restrict calories while still feeling fueled for exercise so I'm not dragging all this extra weight around when I'm trying to race!
10. Reaching out. I'd like to start training with some other people. Maybe a group ride here or there, one swim practice a week and then definitely joining a running club. I trained totally in a vacuum this whole time (except for a couple lake swims during which I didn't really get to speak to anyone), so I'd like to have that experience of feeling like a team, having a coach and learning from others how to improve.
Enjoying a leisurely post-race walk at the glacier
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